Closing our emotions

I been through many things in my very short life, but I remember my progression. I used to be very open to my emotions, very keen to open up to anyone and very keen to fall in love. Sadly I got older, the more people I met the more closed I became; I started to realise that the more people I met the less I wanted to share. Social interaction taught me that people didn’t like emotions.

I became concerned with how to attract women and being an unattractive guy this wasn’t easy. I read books which taught me tricks. I started to hang out with people who simply got it right. For me it was more about learning “the game” and a huge learning curve.

However, the more I went out and the more girls I met the more closed I became. The first time your heart is broken, you cry tears of hurt and possibly shame. The second time you heart gets broken you get upset, after that you start to think that love is a crock and ultimately end up thinking that love is a load of rubbish.

It’s sad to say that I stopped believing in love for a while; I became cold, cold as ice. I started to understand why certain girls acted the way they did. It became meaningless. The worst part about the whole thing was the more I stopped caring the more successful I became, I have heard and read countless stories of, “players” who use and abuse women. What’s sad is the fact that these people have lost the plot, I can only comment because I was in a similar situation.

We are living in a time where bigger is better, the more the merrier and my personal favourite, go large or go home. How many of us want nice things, flash cars and big houses. These wonderful displays of materialism seem to be applying to our counter parts. How many girls want rich boyfriends with hot bodies and how many boys want hot blond girls with big boobs, and when the model gets old we replace it.

Have we lost track of what is important?

Some people understand the difference between wants and needs, and the line between them. Lately I have been forced to understand the difference, not only in work but also in my emotional well being. I’ve started to look back when I was young and naive and I’m realising that if I had the choice I would go back. Well not back in time but back to that frame of mind, when I was young things were simply black and white, right and wrong with no exception. My needs were simple, I knew what I needed and I worked to achieve them. Love was pure, uncomplicated and there weren’t hidden agendas and mixed messages.

Times are changing around us at an alarming rate, people are taking strain. It’s time we look to what’s important and move away from the rubbish. I’ve had to catch a wake up and look at who are my real friends and who contribute to my life.

My current situation has also forced me to rely on God a lot more for comfort, as well as my support structure. We all need support structures in place. Not only on a financial level, although those would be nice, but we need people who we can share with.

A few of my thoughts...

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